Now, let’s talk about Robin Hood, shall we? You know, the dashing lad in tights who gallivanted around Sherwood Forest, robbing the rich to feed the poor? Great story, that. But if you think about it, Robin Hood’s modus operandi was a bit outdated. I mean, why steal from the rich when you can just build your own magical currency and make the rich irrelevant? Enter: Satoshi Nakamoto, the digital age’s answer to Robin Hood… without all the uncomfortable wardrobe choices.
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Satoshi, he (or she, or they, or possibly your nan—who knows?) is the mysterious creator of Bitcoin. And instead of sticking it to the man by looting gold-filled wagons, Satoshi played the long game: they built a brand-new financial system. A decentralized, peer-to-peer one that doesn’t rely on any one bank, government, or stocky sheriff demanding his cut. How’s that for a 21st-century upgrade?
Here’s the best bit: Satoshi didn’t steal from the rich. Oh no. Too predictable. Too cliché. Instead, Satoshi “stole” from themselves. You see, they could have stuck around to be hailed as the genius creator of Bitcoin—maybe even gotten a cameo on some Netflix documentary, complete with dramatic music and close-ups of keyboard clicks. But they didn’t. Like a modern-day hero with absolutely zero interest in a knighthood (or any “hood,” for that matter), Satoshi just disappeared. Left behind the keys to a financial revolution and ghosted us all faster than someone with bad Wi-Fi on a Zoom call.
And what’s even funnier? The 1.1 million Bitcoin Satoshi mined in the early days are still sitting there. Unmoved. Untouched. Satoshi didn’t even cash out like some reality show contestant after winning a lifetime supply of anonymity. Nope. They just let the fortune pile up like it’s the world’s biggest “Take a penny, leave a penny” jar. Talk about self-control—though, if we’re honest, it’s the ultimate form of trolling, isn’t it? “Here’s a gazillion dollars. But you can’t have it, and neither can I. Ha!”
Now, let’s talk about the Robin Hood parallels. Robin Hood, bless his heart, had the best of intentions, didn’t he? Steal from the bloated, greedy rich, give to the needy poor. What a guy. But have you ever tried stealing from the rich? They’re quite good at hanging onto their stuff—whole legal teams dedicated to it, in fact. So instead of playing that game, Satoshi created a system where everyone could participate—rich, poor, and that guy down the street who always tries to sell you “vintage” VHS tapes. And no one’s the wiser who Satoshi even is. The ultimate “one for all, and all for one” scenario, without the faff of crossbows and merry men.
And that’s where Bitcoin comes in. It’s like Robin Hood’s treasure chest, but with a lot less horseback riding and far more math. Instead of relying on central banks to tell you what you can and can’t do with your own money (cheeky, aren’t they?), Bitcoin puts power back in your hands. You don’t need permission. You don’t need a bank account. Heck, you don’t even need to wear green tights. (Though if you want to wear green tights, go ahead—I’m not here to judge. Much.)
So, while Robin Hood was running around with a bow and arrow, Satoshi gave us all a digital sword. Sure, it’s invisible and runs on blockchain technology rather than actual pointy bits, but it slices through the nonsense of financial gatekeepers just the same. Want to send money to a mate across the globe without paying a middleman? Done. Want to opt out of a system where rich people get richer and the rest of us just watch? Here’s your ticket.
But the pièce de résistance, the true work of genius here? Satoshi didn’t wait around for applause. No book tours, no TED Talks, no Vanity Fair spreads. Just dropped the mic (or laptop, as it were) and disappeared into the digital night like the true anonymous legend they are. Satoshi is the Robin Hood we deserve—and perhaps the one we didn’t even know we needed. The hero who built a financial revolution, didn’t take a single penny for themselves, and vanished.
It’s the kind of modern-day Robin Hood story that makes you think: Why steal from the rich when you can steal from yourself—and give everyone a shot at the loot?
Well played, Satoshi. Well played.
